The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Spin the Choice"
Click here to return to the Main Quotes Page
Quotes from "Spin the Choice"
Written by Paul Lieberstein
Directed by Allan Jacobsen
JOHN REDCORN: It's a good precedent for our tribe's lawsuit, don't you think?
DALE: Well, with me acting as your legal advisor, I am confident that you have an airtight case. Although I am not sure what you mean by "precedent."
JOHN REDCORN: I barely see my son as it is.
NANCY: Sug, he's Dale's son, remember?
JOHN REDCORN: You say that now, but when it comes time to get him into college, let's see what box you check.
LUANNE: Aunt Peggy, everybody hates your Boggle tournament.
PEGGY: You just said that everybody hates my Boggle tournament.
LUANNE: I didn't say that -- I thought it. (beat) Well, now that you know, everybody does hate your Boggle tournament. But it's because you give grades instead of prizes.
PEGGY: Yes, Boggle is a harsh mistress.
BOBBY: Dad, you and your white people stole hundreds of thousands of acres from John Redcorn, and now you celebrate by frying a turkey? Whem does the killing end?
BILL: Hank, you're terrible.
HANK: I am not --
DALE: Just give him his land back, Hank.
HANK: You will not use that Frenchman's wave with me.
BOBBY: Thanks-taking is not a time for celebration. I refuse to carve your turkey. It is basted in the blood of the innocents!
PEGGY: Do not blame Bobby. I taught him to keep an open mind. Maybe I taught him too well.
JOHN REDCORN: I found this headdress lying around. I thought you might like it.
JOSEPH: Horns and a feather. Thanks.
BOBBY: I refuse to eat the white man's white meat!
HANK: This whole anti-Thanksgiving thing couldn't have come at a worse time.
PEGGY (describing "Spin the Choice"): Well, the game is pretty straightforward. You can choose to spin or you can choose to choose. If you choose to spin, you can land on spin, or choice, or lose a spin, or lose a choice, or free spin, or free choice, or spin again.
(John Redcorn arrives)
NANCY: I'll be right back.
PEGGY (to Luanne): She loves the game, but her ex-lover just showed up. Most players won't face such distractions.
JOHN REDCORN: To the white man, who steals our land and steals our sons.
DALE: To the white man!
BOBBY: My friend John Redcorn has taught me how important the history of his people is, especially on this day. And I am the only one who saw fit to prepare a feast that honors the Native American culture, not my land-grabbing ancestors. According to many expensive books I studied at the bookstore, the Anasazi tribe from this region celebrated their most festive occasions by eating the body of their enemies. Anthropologists have found the leftovers of these sacred meals: human bones with shiny patches, as if rubbed smooth against the walls of cooking-pots. So today we salute the Native American cannibal, or people-eater. In that spirit, I invite you to enjoy a Native American cannibal feast. Mr. Redcorn, this head's for you.
(Bobby offers a plate of chopped liver in the shape of a head)
JOSEPH (to John Redcorn): Oh, man! You eat people?
JOHN REDCORN: Joseph, don't listen to him. That was over seven hundred years ago!
JOSEPH: Get your hands off me, you cannibal freak!
DALE: So Joseph called you a cannibal. It's not like it's true. Is it?
JOHN REDCORN: Of course not. Any cultural anthropologist will tell you that the Anasazi tribe last practiced cannibalism over seven hundred years ago.
DALE (nervous): And you are affiliated with what tribe...?
JOHN REDCORN: Dale, I don't eat people! For God's sake, it would be like me accusing you of cannibalism, just because that nut in Michigan who boiled body parts in his stove was white. Or that disc jockey in Philadelphia who ate people in his basement. Also white.
DALE: Boy, you're sure up on cannibalism, John Redcorn. Well, look at the time...
JOHN REDCORN: It just makes me so angry!
DALE: You should know, I'm highly carcinogenic.
DALE: Now here's the plan: psst psst psst psst...
HANK: Dale, you're just going "psst psst psst."
DALE: Well, I've got nothing!
HANK: You called John Recorn a cannibal. That's one of the worst things you can call a person.
BOBBY: No, it's not. The New York Times says cannibalism is part of his cultural heritage, and you have to respect other people's culture. Who are we to judge?
HANK: I am not judging. I am stating a simple fact. It is wrong to eat human beings.
BOBBY: Says you.
HANK: Yes, and I'll say it again. It is wrong to eat another human being.
BOBBY: Oh, but it was right for the white man to throw blankets with smallpox onto the Indian reservations?
HANK: No, that was wrong too. But so is eating human beings. Bobby, I agree that stealing Indians' land was wrong. Can't you agree that it's wrong to eat another human being?
BOBBY: I guess.
JOHN REDCORN: I can't believe she left me for that.
HANK: She didn't leave you for that. She married that two years before she met you.
JOSEPH: I know you're not really a cannibal. My mom told me. She told me a lot of things.
JOHN REDCORN: Like what?
JOSEPH: How the white man stole your land and your heritage, and how it's time you got it back. And how we're all children of the earth, so in a weird way, we're related.
Click here to return to the Main Quotes Page