"Oh, thank God, there's a book."

The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Stressed For Success"

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Quotes from "Stressed For Success"
Written by Tony Gama-Lobo & Rebecca May
Directed by Tricia Garcia

TEACHER: Bobby, you were supposed to research an actual president. Martin Sheen is an actor.
BOBBY: Oh, yeah? Tell that to the fifty million people he helped with his poverty bill.

HANK: You can't keep coming home after school and plopping down in front of the TV.
PEGGY: M-hm. It is not good for you or the couch.

HANK: Now go start that report.
BOBBY: But which president should I... (Hank glares; Bobby sighs) ...Ronald Reagan.

HANK: Since when is pop culture academic?
DALE: It's serious business, Hank. You can't be a respected university these days without offering a major in commercial jingles or the films of M. Night Shyamalamalan.
BOOMHAUER: Yeah, man, talkin' about dang ol' Oberlin, man, they got a Phi Beta Kappa in them muppets, yo.
HANK: Well, that's asinine. What kind of job can you get with a degree in pop culture?
DALE: You can be a professor of pop culture. Wow. Bobby the Professor.

PEGGY: Just think, if I hadn't sat him in front of the TV to keep him from crying, we would not be here today.

HANK: You know, I wanted Bobby to become the kind of kid who did stuff after school, but the stuff after school is just becoming more like Bobby.

HANK: I can't believe you're giving him breakfast in bed. Breakfast was his only motivation to leave his room.
PEGGY: Hank, we are the parents of a gifted child. It is our job to nurture him.
HANK: But the whole point was to get him out of the house.
PEGGY: If you were Einstein's father, we would not have the Bomb.

CONNIE: I'm glad you joined the Quiz Bowl team, Bobby. I really, really like winning.

BOBBY: Do sweeps start this week or next?
HANK: I don't know what that means.

DIRECTOR (on audio commentary): When I directed this scene, the sky wasn't sad enough. Read how we fixed it in post in the companion book.

KELLY CLARKSON: I'm Kelly Clarkson. I won American Idol and my debut album went to number one. One song on my album I wrote with Christina Aguilera, who was in the Mickey Mouse Club with Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake. Justin is a member of N'Sync. They sang on the soundtrack of The Grinch, starring Jim Carrey. Jim Carrey was in a movie with Renee Zellwegger, who's worked with Catherine Zeta-Jones, who's worked with John Cusack, who has a house in Malibu near Pamela Anderson, who dated Scott Baio, who was on Happy Days with Ron Howard, who directed Apollo 13 starring Tom Hanks, who is married to Rita Wilson, who was in Mixed Nuts with Steve Martin, who...

DOCTOR: Teen stress is a very serious problem. It can lead to ulcers and all kinds of medical concerns.
PEGGY: What should I do? Should I give him a hug? Or does he need space?
DOCTOR: There is a book I can recommend --
PEGGY: Oh, thank God, there's a book.

PEGGY: It says here that what Bobby needs is a lifestyle change. Their words, my emphasis.

PEGGY: Okay. I just burned myself. But you are very, very safe.

BILL: It's tough being a kid these days, Hank. All we had to worry about was Vietnam, Charles Manson, swine flu...
HANK: Is it that bad now? Heck, a hundred years ago, kids were working in pork factories and coal mines. You can't tell me that wasn't stressful.
DALE: Hank's right. When Disneyland first started, it was completely powered by orphan children running on treadmills in underground tunnels. And today those kids are the New York Yankees.

HANK: Stress isn't bad, Bobby. Heck, if we weren't stressed about the Nazis taking over Europe, we would never have fought World War Two.

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