"Blind he's gone now!"

The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "The Unbearable Blindness of Laying"

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Quotes from "The Unbearable Blindness of Laying"
Written by Paul Lieberstein
Directed by Cyndi Tang

PEGGY: Your mother told you almost a year ago that she had a boyfriend.
HANK: She said "gentleman friend." I didn't know it was the same thing.

TILLY: Garry's nothing like Cotton. He's got a big heart. Of course, the doctors call it "enlarged."

DALE: So he's Jewish.
HANK: Yeah, Dale, he's Jewish.
DALE: There's nothing wrong with that in and of itself.
BILL: Is he funny?
HANK: He doesn't seem too funny.
BILL: Seinfeld's funny.
HANK: Seinfeld's funnier than Garry.
DALE: I'll bet Garry -- Kasner, is it? -- I'll bet he's funnier than Cotton.
BOOMHAUER: Cotton ain't no funny at all, man... Dang ol' POW camp... bamboo shoots... talkin' 'bout puttin' 'em under his dang fingernails... freak me out about that.
HANK: I thought my mom had learned her lesson when she had the good sense to dump my dad. But now she's found another guy to treat her like a bellboy.
BILL: Whoopi Goldberg's funny.

BILL: Garry doesn't eat steak 'cause the cow is sacred to his people.
DALE: Nope, you're thinking of the Hindus. The pig is sacred to the Jews.
BILL: I wouldn't, myself, never join a religion that restricted my diet. I wouldn't want to get into heaven that way.

GARRY: You I like.
BOBBY: You said "you I like" instead of "I like you." That's funny. I like that. Wait -- "that I like."

TV PREACHER: And I ask you, Lord, to take this man's hiccups to heal him!

PEGGY: I just think it would be nice to celebrate his traditions too. Bobby could blow out all the candles on Hanukkah eve and make a wish.

BOBBY: Basketball I can take or leave.
PEGGY: Honey, don't you mean "I can take or leave basketball?"
BOBBY: No, Mom, Garry taught me this. It's the cool new way people from Arizona talk. You want I should teach you?

LUANNE: Let's go! If I miss the tip-off, I don't know which team is going for which basket.

BOBBY: Blind he's gone now!

PEGGY: What kind of a doctor are you anyway? Will you do something? What are all these machines for -- what about that laser? Use that laser on my husband right now!

HANK: I saw Mom and Garry in the throes of... activity.

HANK: I'm not gonna be blind forever, you know. And the second I see some ass, I'm kicking it.

COTTON: Still blind, huh? Or are you faking? (Punches Hank in the stomach) Either you're blind or you're slow. I'd believe both.

HANK: Dad, I gotta take your shoulder here.
COTTON: Hands off, girlie! I didn't fight off a bunker full of horny privates to let you cop a feel.

COTTON: Where's my eggnog?! Bring me my eggnog!!


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