"So, are you Chinese or Japanese?"

The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Westie Side Story"

Click here to return to the Main Quotes Page

Quotes from "Westie Side Story"
Written by Jonathan Aibel & Greg Berger
Directed by Brian Sheesley

BILL: They look Japanese.
DALE: Nope. I think they're Chinese.
BILL: How can you tell?
DALE: Japanese guys usually have glasses and a suit and a tie, and stuff like that.

BOOMHAUER: Yeah, man, them Chinese, man, you can't understand a dang-ol' word they say, man, just try, dang ol' whole upside-down and whatnot.

HANK: So, are you Chinese or Japanese?
KAHN: I live in California last twenty years, but first come from Laos.
HANK: Huh?
KAHN: Laos. We Laotian.
BILL: The ocean? What ocean?
KAHN: We are Laotian. From Laos, stupid! It's a landlocked country in Southeast Asia. It's between Vietnam and Thailand, okay? Population 4.7 million.
HANK: So, are you Chinese or Japanese?

PEGGY: This is so very exciting. It's like we get to travel to the Orient without having to worry about diarrhea or being jailed for our pro-democracy beliefs.
LUANNE: You know, at the beauty academy, they teach us that people aren't black, or white, or yellow, or red, but their hair can be.

PEGGY: These people are by nature shy and reserved. I read somewhere that the Chinese language has seventy words for "rice," but no word for "friend."

MINH: Kahn, please, for once, try not to piss off neighbor. We kick out of Laos. We kick out of Anaheim. I'm tired of running.

KAHN: Hank. Ooh, damn! Damn! Oh, uh, you have damn fine house!
HANK: Lead-free since 1988.

PEGGY: You do not come into a woman's home and insult her feet. You just don't!

HANK: Be careful, Bobby. That's one of them Chinese fighting dogs.
CONNIE: Uh, it's a West Highland Terrier.
HANK: Yeah, that's it.

HANK: Ah, aren't kids great? They're too young to know about fear or prejudice. They won't have to learn that till high school.

KAHN: Ha ha ha! Your Ladybird, she real slut!
HANK: Ladybird is not a slut! She is in heat! Her hormones have overwhelmed her natural modesty.

HANK: I don't like him. it has nothing to do with where he's from. I'm no redneck. He could be from Mars for all I care.
DALE: Believe me, Hank, if Kahn were from Mars, you'd care. Especially after he's stolen every last drop of Earth's drinkable water and taken it back to his home planet...Mars.

HANK: I hate the man because he's rude and nasty. Not because of what his people did to us in WW Two.
PEGGY: Well, Hank, I know that. But everyone else will say "Hank Hill is a racist."
HANK: What the hell kind of country is this where I can only hate a man if he's white?
PEGGY: Hank Hill, you will go to that party, you will pretend to like Kahn, and you will drink until you actually do.

KAHN: You honor me by giving me gas.

CONNIE (watching Ladybird and Doggie): Hey, let's untie them. They belong together.
BOBBY: And it's fun to watch them play piggyback.

BOBBY: Why are you named Kahn Jr.?
CONNIE: My father wanted a boy.
BOBBY: Yeah, so did mine.

CONNIE: My dad's making me memorize two thousand words for the S.A.T.s. He's such an autocrat.
BOBBY: What's a S.A.T.?

MINH: Oh, Peggy Hill, your husband like burger so much, we give you recipe. Now you can please him.

DALE: Here are the facts as I see them: Kahn served you dog.

BILL: Even if they did serve us dog, I mean, who are we to judge other cultures?
HANK: Don't talk like that! The dog is man's best friend. You wouldn't eat your best friend, would you?
BILL: Of course not. Wait a minute, are we talking about some kind of lifeboat situation here? Because I don't want to commit myself.

DALE: They'll probably get you with a blow-dart. That's their way. But you'll just think it's a mosquito bite, until you die. Then you'll know the truth.

KAHN: That psycho redneck is back. Why he so mad? You do something wrong?
MINH: You're the one who insulted his propane.
KAHN: You're the one who made fun of Peggy's monster feet.

HANK: Welcome to the neighborhood, Kahn Souphanousinphone.
KAHN: Just call me Kahn. I don't got all damn day.

Click here to return to the Main Quotes Page