by Lauren

(opening credits, theme song)

Scene 1-

[Jane's bedroom, Jane and Daria watching Sick Sad World, episode of snail
worshipping cults]

Jane: This is sicker and sadder than usual. [pause] Very inspiring.

Daria: Well I for one am delighted that these cults are finally receiving
some recognition. It is after all, a sick sad world.

[ enter Trent ]

Jane: Hi Trent.

Trent: Hi Janey, hi Daria.

Daria: Hi Trent. [fidget]

Jane: Have you come to applaud the snail worshippers or is there something we
can do for you?

Trent: Actually I was going to share some information with you.

Jane: Oh?

Trent: Yes.

Jane: Well......[pause].....what is it?

Trent: We are going to have new neighbors.

Jane: So? Does that directly affect us?

Daria: Yes, because if it does not, then we should return to our regularly
scheduled program.

Trent: Cute Daria.

Daria: Took me all night to think of that one. Glad you appreciate it.

Trent: Oh I do.

Jane: So we are to have new neighbors, fabulous. [turns back to tv]

Trent: These neighbors are special Janey. It's Horatio Donatellia's family.

Daria: Who?

Jane: Donatellia is a big time record company owner. Trent has been sending
him demos for years. [to Trent] How'd you find this out?

Trent: It was in the paper. [holds up newspaper[ And did you know he has a
daughter that is going to go to your school? I was hoping you two could sort
of become pals with her, and then introduce me to her father, all the while
praising my band and me specifically at every possible chance.

Jane: Certainly Trent. It's always been our lifelong dream to become friends
with a rich snob our age in the hope that her father will better your career.
Isn't it Daria?

Daria: Oh yeah. It's a reoccurring dream of mine. It's right up there with the
one where I'm a cheerleader and become a blond.

Trent: [ looking out the window ] Isn't that a moving van?

Scene 2-

[ front lawn of Lane's house, moving van in front of house across the street, large boxes
being unloaded, enter Trent, Jane, and Daria from front door of Lane's ]

Trent: Wow.

Jane: Yeah.

Daria: yeah.

[ 3 sit down on curb, Mercedes pulls up behind van, well suited man gets out, opens side
door for young blond lady in mini skirt ]

Trent: That must be her.

Daria: I'll rush over immediately with a fruit basket.[remains sitting]

Jane: She looks more like one of Quinn's friends than one of ours Trent.

Blond Lady: I was hoping it would be bigger. [scrutinizing house]

[3 on curb exchange look]

Man: Oh honey, we wanted to get away from all that gaudiness.

Blond: Speak for yourself! [turns to car] Gala, get out this instant!

[door opens and girl with obviously dyed blue curls in scuffy clothes and
combat boots stomps out]

Man: Gala pumpkin, what do you think of the house?

Gala: Great dad, just great. [bored expression]

Blond: Just think darling, maybe you could join the cheerleading squad at your
new school. Won't that be just wonderful? [cooing]

Gala: I can hardly contain myself. [expression unchanged]

Man: [sigh] Well, as soon as your drums are unloaded I'll help you set up your
studio in the garage. Then you'll be happy with your music.

[ 3 on curb have perked up and are straining to hear, man and woman enter house, leaving
Gala alone on their lawn with her drums ]

Trent: Whoa.

Jane: Yeah.

Daria: yeah.

[Gala sees them and walks over to them, they stand up ]

Gala: Hello. Does anyone know what channel Sick Sad World is on here?

[3 exchange looks]

Scene 3-

[Jane's bedroom, 3 girls on bed]

Jane: So what's it like having your dad a big time record producer?

Gala: It's okay. But he never introduces me to clients for fear that they will
influence me. In protest I dyed my hair.

Daria: I thought it was just a fashion statement. We thought maybe you were
like my sister Quinn I told you about, just following different styles.

Gala: Fashion? Oh, is blue hair fashionable? If so I can change it.

[Jane and Daria exchange small smirk]

Jane: I think we'll get along just fine.

Daria: Yeah, and I like your tattoo. [points out black butterfly with ripped
wings below Gala's collarbone]

Trent: [from doorway] yeah, me too.

[girls turn around]

Jane: Oh hello Trent. Gala, this is my brother Trent. Trent this is Gala
Donatellia, our new neighbor.

Trent: Hello Gala.

Gala: Hello Trent.

Daria: Hello Trent.

Trent: Hello Daria.

Jane: Hello Daria.

Daria: Hello Jane.

Gala: Hello Jane.

Jesse: [from doorway] Okay Trent, you said hello. Now come back to practice!

Trent: Bye Gala. Bye Daria. Bye Janey.

Gala: Bye Trent.

Daria: Bye Trent.

Jane: Bye Trent. [Trent leaves]

Daria: Wait till we get you to school.

Jane: This is going to be good.

[girls smile]