"Thank God I never graduated from high school!"

The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Bills are Made to be Broken"

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Quotes from "Bills are Made to be Broken"
Written by John Altschuler & Dave Krinsky
Directed by Jeff Myers

DALE: This record is all Bill's got. Should we rock-paper-scissors to see who keeps him from killing himself in the bathroom?

BILL: I've never done a radio interview before, but hardly a week goes by that I don't do a telephone survey about my long-distance service.

BILL: It was nineteen and seventy-four, and we were playing the Wahachi Cowboys. The ball was on the three-yard line with five seconds left. We needed a touchdown to win, and that's when Coach called for -- The Billdozer!

RICKY: Doctors say I'm out for the season.
PEGGY: Oh, what do doctors know? A doctor told me I might never walk again. Well, not only am I walking, I hear his marriage has gone South too.

BILL: Only Ricky and I know how tough it is to get this far. He won't let anything stand in his way. Yep, I remember hemmorhage, and embolism, and even detatched retina -- it sounded scary, but when you smell the goal line, they're only words. Just words.

RICKY: I'd like to thank everyone who made this possible: My coach, God, and the school board. I'd also like to thank Mr. Deevatreaux for taking such good care of the trophy ball.

SPORTS JOCK: Now don't go sayin' the Sports Jock should be fitted for a skirt and some of them pretty hoop earrings, but I got a tear in my eye last night watching Ricky Suggs break the record.
CHAD: M-hm.
HANK: What?!? The Sports Jock, maybe, but Chad? (turns off the radio) Come on, isn't anyone gonna say what we all better be thinking?
DALE: It's an... outrage?
HANK: That's right, Dale!
DALE: I am outraged! (surprised) I really am!

PEGGY: Poor Bill. He was living in his past and that boy has stolen it. Where is Bill supposed to live now?

HANK: Mr. Chairman, I would like to respectfully submit that you put an asterisk next to Ricky Suggs's name in the record book. And that asterisk should read: "This record was attained through the use of fraud and bad sportsmanship."
EUSTACE: That motion is denied, Mr. Hill. Ricky Suggs is an inspiration to us all. Now on to more important matters: My motion to add "fatty fatty boom-balatty" to the list of unacceptable hate speech.

HANK: Hey, how about the time we snuck into the stadium and mowed the whole field before the groundskeeper could? The look on his face right before we apologized!
BILL: Yeah, we were crazy. I can thank the army for straightening me out.
HANK: You were a changed man when you came back.
BILL: Oh, yeah. I may not have made it to Vietnam, since the war ended right after I volunteered, but barber school at Fort Bragg -- baptism by fire, my friend!

COACH: I'd have to cut somebody...
HANK: Well, you got that exchange student who kicks barefoot. I think we've all had enough of that.

BILL: I can play again? Thank God I never graduated from high school! Do I have to go to class too?
HANK: Come on, Bill, you're on the football team.
BILL: Just like the old days.

RICKY: When I crossed the goal line and set the record, I didn't do it just for me. I did it for my girlfriend...
TWO GIRLS (simultaneously): I love you, Ricky! (they exchange angry glances and sit down again)
RICKY: ...And for everyone here at Arlen High. Except for Old Man Crybaby, who's probably gonna cost us the game.

COACH: This guy was setting records before you were born! He fought for your freedom in North Carolina during 'Nam!

BILL: "Arlen High, we honor thee, / Thy legacy of bravery --" Come on, guys, too cool to sing the school song?
PLAYER: We changed it back in '97.
COACH: It's "Candle in the Wind" now.
BILL: Marilyn Monroe or England's Rose?

COACH: We may not have their youth, or speed, or performance-enhancing drugs, but we got something they don't: guts.

RICKY: No fair! Asterisk! Asterisk!

HANK: We're still in scoring position. If Arlen High gets the ball again, you can get the record back.
BILL: No. When Ricky tied my record, he did it fair and square. I am honored to share it with him. Besides, I can't get up. Thank you Hank, I couldn't have done it without you.
HANK: No sir, you the man!
BILL: No, you the man! I can't point, Hank.
HANK: That's okay. Just don't look down at your leg.

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