The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Father of the Bribe"
Quotes from "Father of the Bribe"
Sign outside Tom Landry Middle School:
TEACHER: Hey, you two! You know the school policy: no violence -- no affection.
DALE: I got a pirate radio set at the swap meet, so I will bring to this neighborhood a non-stop talk alternative. A constant barrage of eye-opening conspiracies and ad-libbed innuendi. Too bad there's only twenty-four hours in a day -- or is there? Tune in to 84.372 and find out!
CONNIE: Bobby, you'd better go. If my dad catches you here, he'll make me play that song he wrote about you.
DALE: ...A nefarious government plot to store our nation's silver supply in our mouths! Children, I implore you, rip out your fillings! This is 24-hour Gribble Talk, serving the entire tri-house area.
MINH: You can't just order her to break up with him, Kahn. Teenagers very rebellious. Big reason I started dating you was to rebel against Papa.
CONNIE: Mom! Dad! Bobby broke up with me!
DALE: After 60 hours on the air, I must apologize, people: that last caller was not the real Spiro Agnew, although he did make some cogent points. This is live talk radio, people, working without a net. All right, our next caller, from nearby McMaynerbury -- must be a windy day -- and this is quite an honor: former Soviet Premier Leonid Brezhnev.
HANK (reading Bobby's report card): C. C plus. Two B minues. You really did it, son. You set realistic goals and you reached them. Way to go.
KAHN: Connie don't need help. She perfect. That's why we love her.
PEGGY: Hank, I am not on trial here. Kahn and Minh are, and possibly Bobby and Connie, but not me.
KAHN: All we ever want is for you to be happy.
KAHN: I always have very strong feelings about Hill family. Now those feelings are of love.
DALE: Let's see... I told you about the sperm-count-lowering soft drinks... I told you about Supercuts cataloguing DNA... I'm running dry here, people... oh! Is there any concrete evidence that Hawaii actually exists? No, I covered that.
PEGGY: I don't know if all parents are biased when they see their kids kiss other kids, but Bobby really is the better kisser.
BOBBY: My God, what happened to the Mrs. I.P. Daley I checked into the Jolly Roger with?
DALE: Well, folks, earlier I made some comments that were deemed insensitive by one of my key sponsors, Dale's Dead-Bug, who has pulled all his ads. Coward. And I can't drum up any new sales because I'm stuck behind this bleeping microphone 24 hours a day. So I have been forced to sell the station to Mexican interests. Viva la revolution! Octavio.
BOBBY: I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I've never broken up with anybody before.
BOBBY: You've been a valuable part of the organization for two years now, and --