"They can't delay Thanksgiving, can they?"

The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "The Hank's Giving Episode"

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Quotes from "The Hank's Giving Episode"
Written by Alan Cohen & Alan Freedland
Directed by Martin Archer

HANK: Come on, Bobby, it's almost 10:00. With the Dallas traffic, we won't get to the airport until noon, and that flight leaves at 4:00, with or without us.

PEGGY: Luanne does not have a ticket. You were supposed to buy tickets for the family.
HANK: That's right. I bought tickets for all three members of the Hill family: Hank Hill, Peggy Hill, and Bobby Hill. The Hills.
PEGGY: What is the matter with you? As far as Luanne knows, you love her and you consider her a member of this family. Do not let her know that you neglected to buy her a ticket.
HANK: Well, I think she's gonna find out when we leave her here.
PEGGY: No, sir. You will buy Luanne a ticket at the airport. And it is not gonna be easy, because the day before Thanksgiving is, in my opinion, one of the busiest travel days of the year.

HANK: Any seats left to Billings?
WOMAN: Yes, sir. That'll be $719.
HANK: What!? I paid $250 for my ticket. That's the price I want.
WOMAN: Sir, you bought your ticket six months ago. You are buying Miss Platter's ticket on the day of travel.
HANK: All right, listen: Miss Platter is travelling to Montana to see her father for Thanksgiving. She hasn't seen him in years. Doesn't that mean anything to your airline?
(No response.)
HANK: I'm gonna write a personal check, and in the memo line, I am writing "Unfair."

DALE: Hey, do your people even celebrate Thanksgiving?
JOHN REDCORN: We did. Once.

LUANNE: Uncle Hank, a man just asked me if I wanted to join the Mile High Club. Could you get me an application?
HANK: Well, I would think they would have them on the plane, Luanne.

KAHN: Hey, Hank Hill, I saw you leave house at 10:00 a.m. We leave five hours later. You still waiting, you dumb redneck.
HANK: Okay, Happy Thanksgiving.
KAHN: Oh, yeah. You too.

LUANNE: Uncle Hank, they can't delay Thanksgiving, can they?
HANK: They just did.

PEGGY: I want to make sure my mother has all the ingredients for my Brown Betty, which I have made every year from 1976 until I die, inclusive.

BOBBY: Dad, I know you said to try, but I can't eat this. It's salad!
PEGGY: Hank, the boy needs protein or he'll pass out. Now break open that box. Thanksgiving will go on with a one-legged turkey.
HANK: One-legged turkey? I'm not even gonna dignify that with a response. Other than "Shame on you."

HANK: We're not animals. We'll wait in line like everybody else.
PEGGY: Hank, the ability to cut ahead in line is what separates us from the animals.

RECEPTIONIST: I'm sorry, Admiral. There's no smoking in the terminal building.
DALE: You're not sorry, and I'm not an Admiral.

HANK: You lied to me about the announcement. That's strike one.
PEGGY: What? Oh, don't start with that baseball --
HANK: That's strike two.
BOBBY: What happens when he gets to three?
PEGGY: He doesn't know.

PEGGY: Hank, we are fighting a war here called Thanksgiving at the airport. Now, we can either stand here and take it like the French, or we can beat the rest of these chumps to the hotel.

ANNOUNCER: Paging passenger Tom Gannoway. Please pick up the white coursesy phone.
(A man gets up and walks off.)
HANK: Peggy, I think that man is Tom Gannoway.

LUANNE: That curtain over there -- what's it for?
ATTENDANT: It separates first class from coach.
LUANNE: I'd like that closed.

HANK: No, no! It's not a bomb, it's a turkey! It's a smoked turkey, you idiot! Get away from there!

PEGGY: Hank Rutherford Hill, is "naive" your middle name?

HANK: Boomhauer, I'm sorry you didn't get to see your mother.
BOOMHAUER: Hey, man, you wanna talk about sorry, man, talkin' 'bout stewardess, dang ol' born-again, talkin' 'bout dang ol' cold shower.

KAHN: Four hours stuck on the tarmac. I look out window, what do I see? A frozen Gribble.
DALE: The only thing that kept me going was my will to smoke again. And the ashtrays from an Alitalia flight.

PEGGY: With those sugar packets, these pats of margarine, some leftover pizza cruss, and that propane grill, I can jerry-bake us up a Brown Betty!
HANK: Well, you do make the best Brown Betty in --
PEGGY: Yes, I do.

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