The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Returning Japanese"
Quotes from "Returning Japanese"
HANK: I already picked the country for our vacation: America. And the state: Texas. And the town: Denton. I don't care what their police did to that cyclist, it's still a good town.
DALE: Ah, Memorial Day. A day when our war heroes are celebrated by even the most liberal of media.
DIDI: Hank, I'm worried. Cotton's been acting very stressed all week. Maybe you could take him out for some guy time. Nothing gay, though.
HANK: Can we use your steam room?
COTTON: I got to gets back to Japan and apologize! But how am I going to get there? I got no shins! All my money goes to the baby's mouth-mush and your step-granny's booby payments!
PEGGY: This is about a man who for fifty years denied any human emotion in order to hide from his haunting memories of war, ruining his relationship with his son, until fate gives him one last chance to find... no, it's still not an interesting story.
(Peggy's suggestions for travel articles)
DALE: I have no formal opinion on the Japanese. I know that must disappoint you.
HANK: I'm only going to read this once. "Hi, my name is Ladybird. I like long walks, my arthritis medication, and two cups of kibble a day. I'll try to outsmart you and get three cups, but I know you're too clever for that, Ms. Platter."
COTTON: She's a Japanese!
PEGGY: You've killed Germans, you've killed Japanese. Which do you prefer?
PEGGY: Your father is behaving like a maniac. He's just sitting there with his mouth shut!
REPORTER: We will go with you to her. You apologize. She will cry. We will edit it for broadcast purposes. That is the process.
PEGGY: There is nothing to worry about. He is just fighting his urge to kill you.
HANK: My dad's still on the plane. He had to use the lavatory, and he said he might be a while. You know, he's old.
PEGGY (in the hotel): Look at the architecture. You can really see the Japanese influences.
LUANNE: Okay, pound dog. Your job is to pretend to be just like that dog over there, only not so dead.
VALET: The cologne has displeased you.
HANK: How could you not know you had another son? How many women have you slept with? Five? Six?
COTTON: I left more than my shins in Japan. I left a piece of my heart. And some seed, I guess, which grew into Junichiro.
HANK: A brother. I have a brother.
MICHIKO: Hello, Cotton. I am glad to see your feet did not fall off as predicted. How is everything else?
HANK: I work in propane and propane accessories. You may have seen it used in some of our movies.
COTTON: I don't usually cry unless someone's pulling out my fingernails like you fine folks did many years ago.
JUNICHIRO: With all respect and honor, I would not be saddened if both you and your father went to hell.
JUNICHIRO: I cannot leave work in middle of the day. I am assistant manager. One of only thirty.
JUNICHIRO: What you expect, running around like crazy cowboy? This not Texas, shoot off guns, pow-pow-pow, Rambo, John Wayne.
HANK: So, how long you been in the robot game?
LUANNE (walking Ladybird and her double): I'm gonna tell Uncle Hank I learned how to clone at the junior college. You two better back me up.
COTTON: I'm gonna hawk a loogie in the face of this country's number-one sumbitch!
JUNICHIRO: You would be proud of me. I was abrupt with an elderly woman.
DALE: This is Hank Hill, occupant. I cannot open the door as I am making love to my wife Peggy.
PEGGY: You're not going anywhere, Mister. Correction, you are going somewhere: everywhere, with Peggy Hill's tour-iffic Tokyo. First stop, the Disney Store.
JUNICHIRO: I kick-a your ass! Look at me! Here come Ronald Reagan Mike Tyson!
JUNICHIRO: Father! No!
COTTON: You're gonna miss your war skootch, ain't you, boy?