The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Maid in Arlen"
Quotes from "Maid in Arlen"
DALE: Kahn has a mother? Somehow I always pictured a pod situation.
KAHN (singing to "Beverly Hills Cop" theme music):
LAOMA: Uh-oh! Sticky stain!
MINH: My mother-in-law have remaining shifts left at unbeatable prices. Who sign up first?
BILL: Something's on your mind. As a barber, I've seen that look on my own face in the mirror many a time.
LAOMA: A heart attack took my husband away to the next life, but I believe he returned as the gentle wind that blows through this meadow even now.
DALE: Bill, she's twenty years older than you! She's literally an old maid! My God, she's perfect for you.
KAHN: Dauterive, my mother get home two hours late last night! You work her overtime?
DALE: I've been raising show turtles for three years and I've never once put them in a show. I'm a freaking hypocrite.
KAHN: Used to be I could go to work and brag about my family. I say, "My daughter a genius, she build perfect replica of lunar module for advanced placement science class." They have no retort. Now, anything I say, they counter with: "Ah, how's that six-toed possum baby your mother have with redneck?"
KAHN: Astronaut turned Senator. This is the kind of man my mother should be dating: man who conquer moon, not man who conquer moon pie.
KAHN: I wish I could come here under happier circumstances.
BILL: Sometimes you have to move on to find true love. New people show up, some of 'em wearing space helmets, I guess.
KAHN: What a rush! Maybe next I break up Hank and Peggy.
DALE: You'll get a new woman soon, Bill. Remember, you scored with an older chick. You're the man now. Oh, wait, I was thinking of high school. Sorry.
PEGGY: Damn that Laoma! She waltzes into my life, teases me with labor at slave wages, and then runs off to a nursing home.
HANK: Harrison Schmidt? Really?
KAHN: Mama, it not what it look like. I only did it because the thought of you two together make me sick to the very pit of my stomach.
KAHN (as Bill and Laoma kiss): You know, this not so bad. It kind of like those dogs that so ugly, they almost cute.