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Quotes from "The Buck Stops Here"
Written by Norm Hiscock
Directed by Mike DiMartino

BOBBY: I was up late last night watching a Taxi marathon on Nick at Nite -- tank you veddy much.

HANK: I'm not giving you my chores. You're getting a job.
BOBBY: All right, but I'm not very employable. No skills, bad attitude, seventh-grade education. But we can try.

MINH: Hear that, Peggy Hill? Next time I'll be drinking orange juice from a coffee mug while you still drinking from the little itty-bitty Peggy Hill paper cup!

MR. STRICKLAND: Tell you what, if Bobby works half as hard as you do, I'll pull a few strings, grease a few palms, get him a job as a caddy at the golf club.
HANK: Oh, sir, that would be great! You know, I love golf, maybe I could, you know...
MR. STRICKLAND: Oh, Hank, you're too old to be a caddy. (beat) Get back to work.

GUARD: Your truck is parked too far from the curb. I'm going to have to give you a warning.
HANK: You're not a cop.
GUARD: That's why it's just a warning.

BOBBY: Did you ever ride a block of ice?
MR. STRICKLAND: Hell, I married Miz Liz, didn't I?

MR. STRICKLAND: He reminds me of my own boy.
HANK: I didn't know you had a son.
MR. STRICKLAND: Yeah, lives in another city, another woman, name's Roy, or Ray or something like that -- after sixteen years I'm too embarrassed to ask.

BILL: I had a dream last night where we were all naked. Except for you, Hank, you had these little clear plastic underpants on. Actually, they weren't doing you any good, because you could see everything.

BOBBY: Mr. Strickland got up under more balls than a midget hooker.

HANK: You're giving that watch back!
BOBBY: No, I'm not! Mr. Strickland gave me that watch and it's Mr. Strickland who gives me my money! He asks me to jump and I say "How high?" He asks me to cheat and we're on the green in two!

HANK: If Mr. Strickland calls, you tell him -- (dramatic pause) -- I'm taking a personal day.

MINH: They wouldn't take any more blood from you!
PEGGY: Well, maybe not in Arlen, maybe not in McMaynerbury, but Minh, there's a little town called Houston. And when that construction crane fell over, they didn't have time to ask questions.

MR. STRICKLAND: If I'm losing, I'm gonna fake having a heart attack. That's your cue to come in screaming "My daddy's havin' a heart attack! My daddy's havin' a heart attack!"

BOBBY: The watch is mine!

HANK: I'm his father.
THUG: I thought the old guy in there was your father.
BOBBY: No, no, this is my dad, this one right here, the one with the golf club.

MR. STRICKLAND: You heard me! I'm havin' a got-danged heart attack!

MR. STRICKLAND: That's right, you backwater hicks! You missed Buck again!

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