"Arlen is darlin'."

The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Hank's Cowboy Movie"

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Quotes from "Hank's Cowboy Movie"
Written by Jim Dauterive
Directed by Shaun Cashman

BOBBY: We're going to see the training camp of the Dallas Cowboys. They used to be in Austin till, well, you know. But like my dad says, "Cowboys will be Cowboys."
HANK: I say that in private, Bobby.

BOBBY: Ervine's looking good this year, huh, Dad?
HANK: Yep. I'm giving him a A minus.
BOBBY: I'm giving him a B plus. That gives him some room to improve.
HANK: Good thinking, son.
BOBBY: And I'm giving Troy Aikman a B plus too.
HANK: That's not funny, Bobby.

HANK: Sweet Jethro Pugh!

HANK: All his dreams from now on are gonna be about leaving. And then some high school guidance counsellor is gonna tell him to follow his dreams. Then how will he end up? A fruit pie salesman with a whoopie cushion living in Wichita Falls.

DALE: Hank's right. If all the children leave Arlen, there will be no young to take care of our old. Our old will feed off our very old. Our very old who are not eaten will wish they had been... eaten.

HANK: We used to make movies all the time. Dale, you practically slept with that little camcorder.
DALE: "Practically?" I was going to be the next Zapruder. Except nobody shot a president after that. Nobody that knew what he was doing.

BOOMHAUER: Hey, man, all you need is a dang ol' narrator, you know, like that movie trailer guy, dang ol' "In a world where love is against the law..." Something like that.

NANCY: Welcome, Jerry Jones. I'm Nancy Hicks Gribble, and I'll be your tour guide on a magical journey through Arlen, Texas, the next training camp site of the Dallas Cowboys.
Sharks may be scary,
As is the spear-like marlin,
But fear not, Jerry,
'Cause landlocked Arlen is darlin'!

BOBBY: Do you really think the Cowboys would move to Arlen?
HANK: I sure do, son. Just imagine what it'll be like. We'll go get autographs, and Troy Aikman will toss the ball around with you. I wish I had Dandy Don Meredith or Roger Staubach throwing me passes when I was your age. Even Craig Morton would have been okay. I love you, Bobby.
BOBBY: What?!
HANK: Uh... nothing. Hey, look, a bird!

PEGGY: Whoosh! Do you know what that is?
PEGGY: I will tell you. It's the sound of Arlen's future going right down the toilet. And do you know whose butt is on that seat? Well, it's yours, Hank. It's your butt.

DALE: Hank, you have bullyragged this production and stifled my creativity since day one. It is now day two. I quit.

BOBBY: It's okay, Dad. We were crazy to try and compete with Wichita Falls.

BOBBY: Dad's talking to the Tom Landry plate again.

HANK: So I guess this means you'll be leaving us when you grow up.
BOBBY: Yeah, I'll probably leave. But it's not for a while, Dad. I'm only twelve. We've still got plenty of time together.
HANK: Yeah. And even after you leave, Wichita Falls is only six hours away.
BOBBY: I can't be a prop comic in Wichita Falls. I'm moving to New York City, or Hollywood. Maybe Vegas.
HANK: Ugh! Well, as long as it's not Wichita Falls.
BOBBY: Well, I might keep a house there for tax purposes.

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