"Seals are trash mammals."

The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Escape From Party Island"

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Quotes from "Escape From Party Island"
Written by Jonathan Collier
Directed by Gary McCarver

BILL: Maybe she stopped on the way to make herself look nice. That's something that ladies like to do. I was married to one once.

HANK: I hate miniatures, I always have. Mom only took them out when she was going into a funk. Like when I was between ten and fourteen.

BILL: It must be nice having a man around the house, huh, Peggy?
PEGGY: Actually, Hank has only been gone an hour and a half.
BILL: I tell you, Peggy, I'd never leave you for an hour and a half.

TILLY'S FRIEND: The trouble with you is, you never know what to do.
HANK: You just met me.
TILLY'S FRIEND: I know your kind.

BILL: Be careful, Bobby. You know how your mother and I worry about you.
BOBBY: Uh... she worries about you too, Mr. Dauterive.
BILL: Really?
BOBBY: I guess. I don't know.
BILL: (squeals ecstatically)

HANK: That's a nice-looking seal.
DELIA: That's an otter! Lyle Neff would never waste his time on seals! Seals are trash mammals, everybody knows that!

LUANNE: Why is he hugging our trash?
PEGGY: As long as he does not take it into his house, we're okay. (They watch. Sound of Bill's front door closing) Oh, no.

HANK: Mom, that fella asked you to show him your high beams. Do you even know what he meant?
TILLY: Of course I do. I've been driving for longer than you.

HANK: Mom, write this number down: "1-800-E-A-T-S-H-..." Never mind.

TILLY: Delia was right. You are impossible.
HANK: Which one is Delia?
TILLY'S FRIEND (pointing to Delia): She is!
HANK: I could commit you like that.

PEGGY: Bill, are you okay?
BILL: No, I am not okay at all! I didn't make you a barbecue just so you wouldn't show up, and I didn't come here to not watch Bobby play ball!
PEGGY: Bill, please, people can hear you.
BILL: I don't care! Maybe it's time they did! Hey, coach, why aren't you playing Bobby Hill? I am responsible for that boy, you hear me? You play him right now! (Puts his arm around Peggy) Oh, Peggy, I'm not angry at you.
PEGGY: Bill, you get your arm off me! (Peggy knocks Bill off the stands) Ho yeah! Go Cougars!

HANK: Damn those stupid miniatures! They're gonna get her killed!
LYLE NEFF: You don't know anything.
HANK: What?
LYLE NEFF: Miniatures probably saved your mother's life.
HANK: What's that supposed to mean?
LYLE NEFF: Do you know how hard it is to be a woman in this world? I do. Women come in here all the time, and they are sad, and they are lonely, and they are frumpy, and they tell me how my tiny individually hand-crafted investment-grade art is the only thing keeping them sane. Do you understand? Does that sound like your mother?
HANK: No. Well, maybe, when her marriage to my dad was breaking up, but... so this glass crap really helped her out, huh? I guess I owe someone an apology.
LYLE NEFF: Accepted.

HANK: Everybody stay calm. We just experienced severe tire damage.


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