"Ladybird Hill, you're beautiful."

The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Pregnant Paws"

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Quotes from "Pregnant Paws"
Written by Jonathan Aibel & Glenn Berger
Directed by Chris Moeller

PEGGY: This could be Ladybird's last heat. If you don't do something, and fast, she is going to spend the rest of her life childless and lonely, sulking about the house in soiled underwear, like Bill.

BOUNTY HUNTER: Any man who skips out on his bail can be hunted like an animal, although not eaten. All you gotta do is sit through a four-hour training course.
DALE: You're telling me there's a poorly-trained, quasi-legal police force that operates with few if any government controls? It's about time.

MR. STRICKLAND: Hank, I'd love to give you a raise, but the accounting department said, "Buck, stop lettin' the employees put your lemons in a vise."
HANK: Donna said that?

HANK: Ladybird Hill, you're beautiful. Luanne, take off her underwear.

(In a flashback)
DOCTOR: You were born with a narrow urethra, and years of chronic tension have only made it worse. I really don't think you'll ever have children.
HANK: But -- no! That -- that's impossible!
DOCTOR: The lab tests confirmed it, although I suspected as much when it took you thirty minutes to produce a urine sample.
HANK: Hey, you want it done quick, or you want it done right?
PEGGY: Hank, please calm down or your urethra will disappear.

BOBBY: Wow. It's hot inside a dog's head.

DALE: I had my hand up first. Why do you keep giving all the cases to these other guys?
BAIL BONDSMAN: Because they're experienced professional bounty hunters. You're just some deluded bug-sprayer who took a four-hour course, learned a few choke holds, and got a hat.
DALE: Hm. You are familiar with my credentials, yet you still refuse to give me a case?

HANK: They're using this experimental fertility drug. I figure if it's safe enough for humans in France, it's probably safe enough for dogs in America.

DALE: Let's get one thing straight, Ladybird: you work for me.

PEGGY: You're blaming me? I would have to be pretty passive-aggressive to do something like that and spit in your coffee every day.

Receipt
FROM: Dale Gribble, Bounty Hunter
BORROWED: Item: One Dog
PURPOSE: To Collar Fugitive
ADDRESS: 27 Whistler Terrace
SIGNED: Dale Gribble, Bounty Hunter

HANK: She's gonna dehydrate in there. Between this sun and the incredible airtight construction of an American-made truck, I'd say she's got about five minutes.

PEGGY: All week I have watched you jump through hoops trying to get Ladybird pregnant, and you never jumped through any hoops for me.
HANK: What are you talking about?
PEGGY: Well, you never stuck a thermometer in my ear!
HANK: Of course not -- why would I?
PEGGY: See? You admit you love her more.
HANK: That's crazy! I didn't do that thermometer stuff with you because, you know, where's the romance? With Ladybird, it doesn't matter. She's just a dog, she's not my wife. You're my wife.

PEGGY: Be careful, Hank. Nine times out of ten they go right for the crotch. And I see ten dogs out there.

JIM: Why are your arms shaking, Mr. Bounty Hunter? If that is your real name.


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